6 months later...

 

No one really acknowledges the long-term anguish that can come when you lose a furry loved one.  The fact that 6 months has already passed astonishes me since it feels like yesterday that Roy was with me.  It also feels like I haven’t been able to hold him for eternity.  The emotional toll of not having Roy fill my life is always unraveling and I still cannot talk about him without crying.  Even writing this is an incredible challenge.

When Roy first died, I was in shock and had trouble fully comprehending he was gone.  Immediately after, my other cat Loki was diagnosed with early stage kidney disease and then I was leaving for Florida for an internship.  I was leaving everything that reminded me of Roy behind, except for the small tin that contained his ashes.  They came along for the ride.

In Florida, I was also pretty busy, but mostly the lack of privacy stopped me from really processing my loss further.  I was sharing a 2-bedroom apartment with 5 others and there was no time to myself.  Although there were times I would cry in my car, or alone on the beach, I mostly kept the emotions hidden inside me.

One my 3-week road trip home, I was too distracted by the beauty of nature and the intrigue of new areas.   I was living in an amazing time where I felt truly alive and experiencing the world in a new way.  I was having too much personal growth to allow sorrow to interfere.

If Roy was not on my shoulder, he was sitting on my side like a Koala Bear.  So cute!

But then I got home.  The empty apartment was just a reminder of what was missing- Roy’s meows and cuddles and mischief.  Every time I went to the grocery store and saw corn I was holding back tears (and it’s corn season).  I was alone and not distracted and it felt awful.  

I really miss him.  And thinking back, I can’t help to question if I ended his life too soon.  I need to constantly look through photos of his life towards the end to remind myself that he was in pain.  Roy’s last day was a good one, which is many ways is great.  It’s better to go out on a positive note, right?  But that is also where the questioning comes in, because there is no clear answer to when the time is right.  If there is no questioning, you probably waited too long.  I read somewhere that looking back on the decision of euthanasia, no one ever says they did it too early, just too late.  Unfortunately that is not always true.

The other day marked 6 months since I lost Roy.  The reality of it all hit me hard and hasn’t left.  I am trying to remember to celebrate the life I had with him, and re-read this blog post about him and am watching my videos of him eating corn. There is no getting over this- just moving on and remembering his spirit.  I am sure years from now I will still laugh at his antics and cry from missing him.  I am sure I will always wonder if my decision was a good one, but that is the unbearable consequence about being responsible for another’s life and loving them so completely.

I wanted to write about this so others going through such loss can know that it completely normal.  Many of my friends recently lost animals and are struggling to move on.  It is also important for family and friends to support those who animal died, including weeks and months past the immediate loss. So often people suffer in silence with their loss, and it is difficult when people don’t recognize the pain that can continue.  Usually this loss hits weeks to months later, when most people would not think about asking if you are okay.  I don’t know all the answers since I am still trying to figure out how to move past the heavy feelings of loss to simply celebrating my time with Roy, but I am appreciative of the few people in my life that have been supportive and understanding.  

Roy' paw prints, taken a few months before he died.  I plan to get a version of this tattooed on my left shoulder blade- where he would often have his paws while cuddling on my shoulder.

Saying goodbye to a family friend

The latest birthday card sent to me by HJ- animal themed of course (December, 2013).

Today I found out Hazel Jeanne Rodgers died. Most people knew her as "Jeannie" and I knew her as "HJ". You do not know her, but the world lost a special person. Growing up, my sisters and I would receive a card from her for all the holidays throughout the year. And I mean every holiday; Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Thanksgiving, etc. For Christmas and birthdays we’d receive a present along with our card.

I was the only one that ever wrote her back with thank you letters. As I grew up, letters continued but instead of thank you’s, it was hello letters. I’d write more about what I had been up to and keep her up to date with all the family news. Once in awhile I would call her and we could easily talk for over an hour. 

HJ was like a close aunt and meant a lot to me. It is hard to put in words why she was such a strong influence in my life, but I guess she was like a lifeline away from my sometimes-chaotic childhood and supported my adventures through life.

When in high school, I started to get interested in animal issues. HJ was kind enough to get me subscriptions to animal rights magazines and organizations, which helped educate and shape me into a beginning activist. More recently, she sponsored an animal at a farm sanctuary in my name and got me a membership to People’s Committee for Responsible Medicine.

HJ was also generous on her own, giving funds to multiple human and animal welfare groups, including sponsoring a child in another country. She opened up her home to feral cats in her neighborhood, offering food and shelter to those who couldn’t be tamed and affection to the cats who wanted more. 

HJ is not survived by any family. She never married or had any children, but there is many people who will miss her dearly. Anyone who knew her would remember her as an extremely friendly and giving person. Since HJ is not having a memorial service, I wanted to honor her memory in some way. This blog post does not even begin to explain her amazing spirit, but I wanted to share with others a life that was truly extraordinary.

Part 2: My cat used to nap in a tree!

I have never met a cat with so much personality and problems as Roy.  He almost died the first month I adopted him from a humane society at about 3 years old.  He was lethargic and looking pathetic, so I took him to the vet.  Turns out he had a urinary tract infection and another day without treatment would have killed him. It was becoming a chronic problem, but then I realized his special diet due to allergies was actually causing it.  

 

Roy was a super odd cat, as he was allergic to most meat.  I tried all the specialty diets, but Roy refused to eat them all.  So I special ordered a vegan cat food with taurine just in case.  When it arrived, Roy was so tired of all his food options that he tore into the partially opened box and into the bag of food.  I guess he approved!  He ate this until his last year of life, when he suddenly decided he didn’t like it.  Luckily more options were available that he could eat at that time.

 

Roy hated other cats. I remember after getting approved to adopt Roy, I got him out of his cage and for the first time he could see the other cats around him and he hissed.  In my head I thought, “uh, oh”, but I had already fallen in love. I think he needed to be the focus of everyone’s attention and other cats compromised that.  My poor cat Loki was sometimes bullied, but they found a way to live with each other.  They never became friends though.  Loki became depressed when Roy passed away which took me by surprise.  

 

Roy also demanded to get his way.  He was a challenge to love at times, due to his showing anger at you with peeing on stuff.  It was a constant struggle to figure out ways to stop it.  There were even a few times he peed on me as well!  Luckily the last few years of his life this stopped, but it was the only thing about him that made me want to scream and cry.

 

One thing Roy was great at was getting in trouble.  I think it was mostly because he was such a curious cat. He even managed to get a thorn stuck in his eyeball!  I was so worried about him and had to take him to a specialist for surgery to remove it.  It cost about a grand, which I did not have, so luckily my parents were able to help me out and knew how much Roy meant to me.  

But no amount of trouble, or pee or attitude outweighed the laughs and love I got from Roy.  I have never met a cat so needing of attention.  He would often lie on my left shoulder and would just purr.  And it had to be my left shoulder.  If I tried to put him on my right shoulder, he would switch over right away.  The right shoulder just would not do.  He would also sometimes sit on my left side, kind of like a koala bear.  I would hold him there, and he would hold onto me and it was just adorable.  I could tell if Roy was extra happy I was home because when I picked him up, instead of just being on my shoulder, he would wrap himself around the back of my neck.  I really miss that.

Whenever I got home, Roy was at the door greeting me with a loud meow.  He was quite vocal!  I remember a time he saw another cat out of the window and screamed really loud like a little girl.  He meowed when he wanted to go outside, or when he wanted in, or when he wanted more food or water, or in the car, or when he wanted attention or when he wanted to tell Loki to go away or when he wanted to tell me something I could not understand.  

 

Recently I was in the vet office with Loki.  A women came in with her cat in a carrier and he was meowing over and over again, just like Roy used to do.  I smiled with fondness thinking about Roy and asked the woman about her cat.  I told her how I know it is annoying now, but won’t seem so thinking back on it. I never thought I would miss that about Roy!  

 

For a short period of time, I found myself living at my parent’s house.  One day I came home from work and as I walked towards the yard, I heard Roy’s distant meow but I could not figure out where it was coming from.  I looked all a round and kept hearing him meow.  I then heard some branches move, and looked up across the street to my neighbor’s yard and found Roy starting to climb down the tree.  Turns out, this was his hang out in the neighborhood.  After that, I would often come home and find him nestled up the tree napping.  What a wacko!  I loved it!

 

Another unique characteristic of Roy is his love for corn.  A friend had taught me how awesome eating corn raw is.  So I was partaking in the great treat and Roy was frantic to get at it.  Frantic!  He was swiping at the cob of corn and meowing like crazy.  I handed it over to him and he went to town.  He could eat a whole cob of corn within 15 minutes.  It became my party trick.  I would get the corn out and show him, and he would get so excited.  I would start to peel back the corn stalk and he’d rub against the corn, cause he loved it so much.  After he was done loving on it, he would start to dig in.  By the time he was done, the corn was mostly gone and his mouth and feet were wet from the juice of the corn kernels popping open from his bites.  It was a precious sight.  

This does not even begin to describe how amazing Roy was and how much I loved him.  I could tell you more stories about him breaking into people’s apartments to eat their food, or other trouble he got into, but people who met Roy even for a moment knew he was a special character.  I am not sure how I will go on without his love.  It kept me really strong.  But obviously I will.  I will never forget him, and his memories will always bring me joy.  If you have any to share, I would love to hear it.

  

 

Part 1: The end of a life

 

I am not even sure how to begin to talk about Roy. I will say that losing him has been impossible. Roy was euthanized a little over a week ago. It was the single most difficult decision in my life. He was not the classic case of not eating, immobile, or hiding. The day it happened he asked to go outside and enjoyed the sun, tried to spray on some bushes, and thought about sneaking in an open window. He had moments where he would purr madly on my shoulder or forcefully meow asking for something. 

Unfortunately most of his time he was in discomfort, constantly moving about trying to find a position he could find comfort in. He was on pain meds, first once a day, then all the time. He would sometimes stare off in the distance, dead in his eyes, but awake. I need to say these things to remind myself of their truth, because once you follow through on that decision, every part of you just wants them back in your arms. So you question your decision and forget the reality of the situation. 

Almost a year ago, I noticed Roy was losing a lot of weight and spent a considerable amount of time in a bookshelf cubbyhole near a heating vent. A vet eventually diagnosed him with an abdominal mass. Surgery was not an option, so I started Roy on steroids. Luckily the steroids seemed to keep the growth at bay and he gained his weight and strength. He was doing great for a really long time! Obviously the growth was not an aggressive type. 

About 6 months later, Roy started to have completely different symptoms related to his throat. His high pitched and loud meows went really quite and weak, he had some weird swallowing and things I now can’t remember. The vet thought he may have voice box cancer, but a definite diagnosis would require a surgery that could potentially kill him, so obviously not worth it. I just monitored him and tried my best to keep him comfortable. 

Eventually I noticed that Roy was fighting with me about taking his medications. He had never done that before. In the morning he knew I would medicate him before I left and he started to run away from me. It was heart breaking. He was also acting in discomfort often and started to frequent the cubbyhole in the bookshelf again. I made the tough decision to stop his oral medications, since I realized they were probably causing him considerable pain when he swallowed. 

At first the lack of medications made him come alive! He was playing again and being frisky and causing trouble, just like the good old days. He was always very affectionate, but he wanted to be held even more and cuddled up more than ever. It was great, until I noticed the shaking in his front arms while standing. Then, losing balance of his back legs on occasion. Not falling or anything, but he was off. With time, he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable just sitting around. He shifted his weight often. It was obvious he had trouble finding comfort.

It is hard because you always wonder what you could have done differently to keep your baby alive. Or to make sure they had the best life possible. Or be in the least amount of pain. There are no right or wrong answers, but there are always those lingering questions.  I know I made the best decisions I could have given the information I had in front on me.  I know that I loved Roy more than imaginable, and the last thing I wanted was for him to be gone, just as he is now. But the only thing I know for sure is I miss him tremendously. 

The day it happened, I had a vet come to the house. Roy hated to travel and the vet office, so I didn’t want to put him through that. It was more expensive but definitely worth it. He was able to die on his favorite chair with the comforts of his life around him. My cat Loki was able to come into the room and see the body afterwards, to allow his own processing of what happened. Roy and Loki were not really friends. In fact, Roy kind of bullied him. A part of me expected Loki to be excited, since he could finally get a lot of attention. But I think Loki is depressed. The loss of Roy has affected him more than I expected.

I chose a private cremation and I still have no idea what to do with the ashes. It is amazing how such a big personality could fit into such a small container. I created a memorial where he died of sympathy cards, his collar, flowers and the ashes. Most of me still can’t accept what happened, but it will hit me in waves. This usually happens unexpectedly and at inconvenient times. Even while watching the new movie “Lincoln”, a wave of sadness hit me. President Lincoln laid down next to his son and this made me tear up thinking of all the times I laid next to Roy with such affection. Just watching Juncos feed on the sidewalk, I was reminded of life and death and started to cry for Roy. Being able to leave water glasses out, or the toilet seat up or clothes on the floor without the worry of Roy tipping it over, or drinking from it, or peeing on it- has all made me cry.  

Roy was an awesome cat. He had such a demanding presence and got into trouble a lot. But no matter how much he pissed me off, I loved him unconditionally. I would often tell him the most mushy crap imaginable while holding him over my left should listening to his purrs placed perfectly over my ear. I will miss him forever, but my life has also gained instrumentally from having him in my life. No matter how difficult the euthanasia decision was, or how hard this grieving has and will be; I will never regret the love I shared with him. 

Gray Whales in Depoe Bay

Gray Whale McFlurry flukes in Depoe Bay, OR

 

This summer I got to play with whales- Gray whales to be specific. Although most of their adventures took place under water, I learned a lot about them and got to know quite a few individuals, not only by their looks, but their inner beauty as well; or at least character traits. 

Carrie Newell is a marine biologist from Depoe Bay, Oregon who was nice enough to give me an internship this summer and teach me about the whales and identifying individuals. She has been doing this for about 20 years.  I had such a great time! I definitely recommend taking a whale-watching trip with her through Carrie’s Whale Research EcoExcursions if you get a chance! 

Gray whales have two blowholes unlike toothed whales with one.

Gray whales are known for their impressive migration every year from feeding grounds in Alaska, to their breeding and calving grounds in Baja, Mexico. But not all these whales make it all the way back up to Alaska, allowing them to cut their trip (and energy resources) down considerably. You see there are some gray whales that stay around the Pacific Northwest coastline from spring until fall, feeding close to the shoreline on mysid shrimp (which Carrie discovered). These whales are what are known as resident gray whales. These are the whales I got to know this summer. Here are highlights of a few of them.

Blanco doing his best fluking behavior.

Blanco was one of my favorites, mostly because he put on a good show and was a lady’s man. He always had a new girl he was chasing around. He was very white in his coloring, which made him stand out easily. But he seemed incapable of a good fluke. Poor guy.

Lucky flukes and shows off all the white markings on the side from killer whale tooth marks.

Lucky got his name due to all the scars he has on his body from killer whale tooth marks. He is lucky to be alive. He is a younger whale, probably born this year. Transient killer whales target calves and try and separate them from their mothers. It is obvious the killer whales got a hold of Lucky, but somehow his mother was able to fight them off.  

Flipper demonstrates "skarking", a feeding behavior.

Flipper is a whale that showed up later in the summer and has stayed around for a while. He gets his name from distinctive marks on both sides of his body that looks like a dolphin head. He tends to be fairly active and was recently seen courting a female whale named Comet.

Aurora swims by.  You can see the witch face marking right before her dorsal hump.

Aurora was the first whale that I had the honor to name. I found her to be a really beautiful whale and wanted her to have a nice name. She has a lot of unique marking on her body, including one that looks like a witch face. But her name comes from marking on her sides that reminded me of the aurora borealis. 

Fishbone swims by and you can clearly see on his dorsal hump where he gets his name.

Fishbone appeared for a few days and was even seen courting with Aurora one day. I felt so honored for the two whales I named to be crushing on each other. His name was an obvious one. The best experience on the water I had was watching him play in the seaweed. I got to see his little flipper and he even opened his mouth above water, allow us all on the boat to see his baleen filled mouth. What a treat!

Fishbone plays in some seaweeds.  You can see his flipper sticking out to the left.

You may be wondering why I share all this with you, besides the fact that whales are so cool! I think it is important to learn about the creatures of the world so we can gain better respect for them; understand the ecosystems that surround us; allow us to protect them in the future. Gray whales were once hunted to near extinction. Luckily their numbers have been increasing to healthy population levels (but not other whales species), however, they will never be fully safe in the industrial world we have created. Over-fishing is occurring right now. Ecosystems the gray whale relies on for food is being disturbed. Plastic bags are being found in stranded whale stomachs. Noise is polluting the oceans. We have a lot to overcome in protecting whales and the oceans, but I do believe the first step is education and respect.

A Goodbye to Ana and Devi

Ana and Devi did not really come into my life by choice.  I love rats.  But their lives are so short and the heart brake so huge.  I also could not give them as much time as I would like, since I have two cats to care for as well.  But then there was a situation I could not look away from.  I knew that if I did not take these rats, they would die.  They were just a month old.

Ana was named after Anatidae, the family order for ducks, which I love to observe in the wild. Ana was much more shy and would assume your finger was a food offering if you offered it through the cage walls.  She loved her back massages.  I could see the content in her facial expression.  She also loved to explore and took really good care of her sister.   

Devi was named in honor of Amrita Devi, a woman in 1730 who lead her village to their deaths by hugging trees to protect them.  Without the forest, they had no livelihood and in the end the forest was saved. Devi was social and loved people and often greeted them with kisses.  She loved playing hide-and-seek where she would hide behind something on the couch, run out, and then I would attack her with my hand.  Repeat.  Damn she was cute!

Their health problems stated with Devi having respiratory issues at just one year old.  We found the best vet with an expertise in rats.  A few months ago Devi’s respiratory issues got really bad and I had to take her back to the vet.  Ana and Devi traveled together, so when I got to the vet and found blood in the carrier, I discovered Ana had bumblefoot. The vet looked them both over and prescribed medications for them both. The meds helped Devi a lot, but Ana’s bumblefoot was improving but not resolved.  I had to take her back to the vet and then discovered she had mammary tumors as well (almost always benign). If it had just been one, we could have done surgery, but there was a lot of them, so we decided to focus on slowly the tumors’ growth.   Last week, I went to check on the rats in the morning and found Ana dead.  It happened fast and unexpectedly.  I was confused and really sad.

Devi was devastated.  I held her as much as possible.  She would sit in her cage starring off and didn't really nest anymore.  She was obviously depressed.  Almost instantly her respiratory problem got worse again.  I started her on antibiotics, the same ones that helped her before.  They did not help.  She was hardly eating; only a bite of her favorite banana or avocado.  I gave her treats of tofutti and almond ice cream, which she enjoyed.

One night I spent a long time holding her and she didn’t move much and sometimes would move in a way that made me feel she was uncomfortable.  She was grinding her teeth more, a sign of possible discomfort.  Her breathing was really labored.  The next day I made a vet appointment after anguishing over all the possibilities for her comfort. I knew that euthanasia was a real possibility, but also wanted to see if there was any other option.  The vet agreed that she seemed in pain and that she was not going to get better since the antibiotics were not helping.  Most likely her lungs were too damaged since she had the respiratory illness so long and there was a real threat of her going into respiratory distress, a very torturous way to die.  We decided upon humane euthanasia.  I knew it was the right decision. She went peacefully and in my arms knowing how much she was loved.  Hopefully she is now with her sister.  They passed away a week from each other just shy of two years old.

Most people would not understand the loss of a pet rat.  They do not realize what amazing characters these little creatures have and the love and understanding that can pass between a rat and a human.  Rats are so positive, yet impressive fighters.  Study after study has demonstrated their ability to care for others and their remarkable intelligence. They have such individual personalities and an amazing way to win you over with their charm.  I miss Ana and Devi with all my heart.  Deciding to adopt them was such a great decision. Even though I hurt so much right now and miss their little faces, I am so happy to have had them in my life.  The heart break is worth it.

News and Opinions- a long overdue update

I just realized it is now March and this is my first blog post of the year. What?! To be honest, I haven't been creatively cooking as much and when I do, I forget to write anything down. My life has been filled with school, applying for graduate school and doing an amazing internship with the Marine Mammal Stranding Network for the northern Oregon coast.


I've also had sad news to deal with. My cat Roy was diagnosed with abdominal cancer. I thought he wasn't going to be around much longer, but luckily the steroids he was prescribed are working miracles with him and he is doing great! So, we focus on that. Yesterday I found him on the neighbor's roof, and today we were playing chase with crumpled up paper I threw outside to distract him from attacking my other cat, Loki. I should probably go outside and pick that paper up soon. He hasn't learned fetch yet.

Anyway, I have been busy. I've been contemplating switching my blogging over to my AnimalKind blog and just write about whatever, and include recipes when I have time, post my favorite nature photos that I took, talk about animal rights, share my path to becoming a marine biologist and other wildlife adventures. What do people think?

In other news, this summer I was honored by being asked to write a guest blog post for "Stop Chasing Skinny". The response was very supportive. Today I was alerted to an obnoxious comment posted by someone who obviously just wanted to feel powerful, or whatever they get from it. So I wanted to share the link so people have a chance to read my story, and respond to the negative comment if they would like to. It is titled, "Fat Acceptance Saved My Life".

Goodby Friday Harbor Labs, Hello Vida Vegan Con!

I did not want to leave San Juan Island! No matter how much I complained about the cafeteria food, being around nature everyday, having close encounters with killer whales and learning a subject matter that I care so much about, felt incredibly right. I had envisioned myself being on the island doing work with the whales, and having just a taste, I know I will be back. I made many friends who I’d never guess I would connect so well with. I was shocked to find myself in a place of sadness when I got home. Of course it was great seeing my beloved kitties and rats. It was wonderful sleeping in my own bed. I am looking forward to cooking a real meal. But the experience was so profoundly amazing and exactly what I wanted to be doing, I mourned that it was over. There will be more of these experiences. The class at Friday Harbor Labs was just the beginning, but I am missing being there greatly.

Where I spend many hours looking for and watching Southern Resident Killer Whales

My transition to Portland started off with all those feelings, and I had the Vida Vegan Con blogger conference to attend the next day. I had been looking forward to the conference, but I never had a chance to really process my feelings of being back. I had a momentary breakdown when I first got there and started to talk with people. But I collected myself and went to a panel on positive blogging. Before the talk began, a woman saw my nametag and told me she had been looking for me. She had read my guest post on the conference website and complimented me on it. This random compliment from a stranger transformed me, and suddenly, being home wasn’t so bad after all. I enjoyed the positivity panel and looked forward to more talks. The next day, I gave a talk about activism and was again feeling great being back in Portland. Everyone was so incredibly nice and knowledgeable and welcoming. I talked with Jasmin Singer from Our Hen House and did an interview for a pod cast. I was impressed by her eloquent speaking ability and how nice she is. The whole experience was a wonderful reminder that there is community all over the place if you just open your heart to it. And my depressing transition back home suddenly became an empowering experience.

Thanks to all the organizers of the conference. Jess, Michelle and Janessa are all fabulous hard-working women who know how to create an amazing event. I was able to make up for the 5 weeks of bad food in the two days I was at the conference, eating a lot of flavorful meals and sweet desserts. It was also fantastic to see so many of my friends at once while being welcomed back home. And the swag bag from the conference is also something to talk about! Damn! I never received so many free things before. I am now the proud owner of a pepper grinder. I love pepper!

Once again it is all about whales and cafeteria food

It is hard to balance criticism and appreciation sometimes. I really appreciate how hard the cafeteria at Friday Harbor Labs works to provide for all the different dietary needs of the students and staff. I am however, tired of no thinking outside the box. No tofu scramble or even a potato veggie medley. Everything is so carb heavy and I have only seen whole grains for lunch or dinner maybe twice. They were not kidding that I would want to supplement my protein since there is vegan protein available in meals less than 25% of the time. And 90% of those times it is garbanzo beans. Variety please!

Sadly, I don’t always trust what they make for me. Majority of the cafeteria staff has been super nice. One woman, however, gives all cafeteria a bad name. She once grabbed a bowl of strawberries I had for dessert from my tray to give to a gluten free person, and told me I could have the angel food cake. I had to argue to convince her it was not vegan and so she then told me gluten free people never get dessert so I should still relinquish my strawberries. I only get dessert if they have sorbet and can tell me the ingredients. That has happened twice. Gluten free people can have ice cream and they even have special gluten free cookies for them. Just saying.

One gripe I have with the cafeteria actually has nothing to do with me. I believe that if someone has a deathly allergy to an ingredient (such a one student's peanut allergy) they should not cook with that ingredient while the person is needing the dining services. The student doesn't feel comfortable eating there for the entire day due to cross contact concerns alone, which is completely understandable.

I am sure you can tell that I am getting tired of over 3 weeks of just cafeteria food. I miss my cooking! And choice! I hope to borrow my TA’s kitchen this weekend to make a tofu scramble, and am looking forward to it.

In other news, San Juan Island is still awesome! I am doing a behavioral project of orcas and their breaching behavior, so that means driving out to the west side every day and look for them. The beginning of August they headed west and left town for almost a week, but suddenly they are back and I have had extreme luck in seeing them for a few days in a row now, while sitting out in the beautiful (but not too hot) sunshine. The other day a cool thing happened. A very small pod of orcas (about 4 of them) headed south and they seemed to have different behavior than I am use to seeing and a male orca has a super large curved dorsal fin. A classmate suggested these were transients, and she was right. After watching them for about 15 minutes, suddenly a large pod of resident orcas headed north into our view. The transients were kinda boring, but the resident orcas put on a show right away. There were breaches all over the place and then they started to forage for fish and did more breaches, and tail slaps and spy hops. It was great!!!

Week 1 at Friday Harbor Labs (with Orcas)

I have been on San Juan Island for a week now and it was been an adventure! I have done prey sampling in False Bay, surveys for marine birds and mammals from the ferry, identified all the different types of gulls and cormorants, and most excitably; watched a pod of orcas pass by the cliff we were on very close to shore!

I went from an 8–5 office job to field trips, going out on boats, experiencing nature on a daily basis, walking through the campus a lot and trying to stay awake during lecture. I love it! It is fun to push my boundaries and do new things. It is empowering to drive a motor boat for the first time. It is exciting to learn so much about the wildlife around me.

The campus is centered fairly close to Friday Harbor along the water. Deer roam freely and eat all day long. One morning I saw 10 deer before breakfast. I get to see kingfishers fly by and barn swallows all over the place. I heard a rumor that river otters frequent the campus as well, but I won’t believe it until I see it.

The dining staff has been incredibly accommodating for my vegan diet, along with other people’s various dietary needs. I have seen everything from vegan pizza to stuffed peppers to roasted sweet potato. The sad thing is, so much of the food is incredibly carb-heavy. It has already been a week and I am getting tired of it. Who knew I became so whole grain based! I am missing my quinoa! Although I am missing much more than quinoa, whole grains is what I am lacking the strongest it. I might even have to talk with the cafeteria to not only suggest using whole grains, but ask her to not make me special lunches, and just give me hummus for the salad bar.

Considering how great everything else is here, that issue pales in comparison. I look forward to the many more weeks ahead of me learning more about birds and mammals and exploring the island! And of course any opportunity to see orcas. That can be a matter of luck, and today I had a lot of it, spending 3 hours at Lime Kiln Park and seeing pods of the killer whales almost at all times. Check out more of my photos at my flickr account.

EGGS ARE TORTURE

With the recall of eggs in this country causing fear and concern, I thought this would be a good time to discuss why I DON'T EVER EAT EGGS. Salmonella is the least of my concern, but the conditions of farms that raise chickens increase the likelihood of outbreaks such as this. This morning the media showed a short clip of a chicken in these conditions and you can immediately notice something is a little different about her than the ones you would see if you were to look into someone's back yard farm. The chicken had her beak clipped off. The front of her beak is distorted by a cruel practice called debeaking, which cuts through bone, cartilage and soft tissue. This is done since these birds are placed in such unnatural conditions that they will peck each other and do harm. The unnatural conditions also cause their feet to grow into the cage wires and lay eggs more often due to stress of artificial lighting. Their bodies are covered with bruises and abrasions, have feather and psychological disorders since there are commonly 4 hens in a 16-inch square wire cage.

A chicken at Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary.

Before I went vegan, I thought the animals used to produce eggs and dairy were unharmed since they weren’t being killed. I was so wrong. The consumption of eggs not only supports this type of cruelty, but these chickens are killed for their meat as well, after one year, since their bodies are so taxed they are considered “spent” and do not produce enough eggs for profit. Many people believe that egg laying hens are the most abused of all farm animals. The torture they endure is unimaginable. The conditions of the farms produce an unimaginable amount of waste as well. There is nothing ok about these farms.

Male chickens being dumped in the trash (literally) since no use to chicken farming. Photo compliments of Farm Sanctuary.

“Free range” or “cage free” eggs are really no better. These chickens may not be in the wire cages, but they are not free, they are still debeaked and suffer from bruises and abrasions and their bodies are just as taxed producing all those eggs in such close quarters and they too, will be killed for their meat at the end. I once visited one of these “cage free” egg farms, and there is no daylight for these chickens. The farm was under so much security and fear of exposure that cops were called on me, when I was visiting as a representative of a restaurant purchasing the eggs. They didn’t want people to know the truth. Even backyard chickens are not cruelty-free, since the males born in this industry are usually killed right away.

Photo compliments of Farm Sanctuary

Eggs are not necessary in your diet. They are not needed for cooking or baking. Tofu makes a great scramble, and eggs in baking are easily replaced. Even if they weren’t, to me it is not worth the suffering of others just for a pleasurable food experience. Please consider taking eggs out of your diet if you have not already or at least cut back considerable. For every one egg consumed, a hen has to endure hours of absolute misery.

Photo taken at Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary

Please support farm sanctuaries that give animals a second chance of a truly free and wondrous life. In Oregon, Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary and Out to Pasture are both great places to support. Farm Sanctuary has farms on the east and west coast and does a lot about education concerning animals used in agriculture. The Humane Society of the United States also has a lot of great information about the cruelty of farm animals (and other animals) on their website as well.

Rats are Rad!

Devi and Anatidae being held by auntie Liz

People just do not understand rats. I have spent most of my adult life in and out of relationships with rats, since their one downfall is a short lifespan of 2-3 years. Even with this in mind, it is worth the love investment in these tiny furry creatures regardless of the heartbreak you will later suffer.

What does this have to do with veganism? Part of me being vegan is my understanding of animals and their feelings and personalities and knowing who they are, not what they are. Animals in general are misunderstood as an object, something put on earth to use or something that can’t feel. Rats are especially subject to these misconceptions where they are readily used in animal research and so many people hate the idea of them being companion animals.

I personally describe rats as being like very small dogs, but smarter. I’ve even had a rat who once out-smarted my dog who was confused for days after she moved her nest to get away from his insistent curiosity. They are very loyal and loving as well. My rats Nicademus and Sadhu were brothers adopted at the Oregon Humane Society. I went in there with only $2 planning to not take anyone home. But there was a special, 2 for 1 deal, and rats only cost $2. It was fate that brought me so much joy and love and laughter. I remember them running up to me everyday when I would get home to greet me. They would often sleep in my arms at night or sit on my shoulder while watching tv. They were with me often and shared many wonderful moments together.

When I was faced with a decision to adopt more rats who needed a home, I asked myself what to do? I did not want any more pets at home with my two needy cats already getting so much of my attention. But then I remembered all that affection from my previous rats and knew the answer once I stopped asking my brain, and asked my heart what to do.

Devi and Anatidae are about 2 months old and already their individual personalities are shining through. Devi was named after Amrita Devi, who gave her life in the 1700s to save the forest her village relied on from being cut down. Although many people died that day in the effort Devi started, the forest was spared. This little rat is a sweet heart who is more social and more adventurous. Anatidae is the family order for ducks and geese which I did a report on for a biology class. I call her little Ana and she is much more shy than Devi, but has moments of bravery which is cute to watch.

I am so excited for years of experiences with these two adorable rats. They are a good reminder how sometimes two species can get along so amazingly well.